[from the Kiss The Boys Goodbye dance—part one and part two]

Personally, I can't say I ever did have much faith in humanity.

Ah . . . so, Cielo, your bed will be the one over by the wall, there. Argilla, you're already settled in, so . . . ah. Now, while Serph and Heat are out, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you two a bit. You've both met Ginshu, so . . . she's going to stay for a bit while we, uh, chat. So make yourself comfortable.

. . . I would offer you drinks, but. Er. Let's just . . . get to it.

ROLAND

Age: Mid-30's
Height: 5'9" ish?
Weight: Average.
Eyes: Pale blue/gray.
Hair: Blond.
Medical Info: Well, first he was an author. Then he was an alcoholic terrorist. Then he was a demon cannibal. YOU BE THE JUDGE? Also he . . . wears glasses? :D
Physical traits: Roland is a pretty normal kinda guy, not really physically remarkable in any way. He wears a long brown jacket, combat boots, and camo pants, has short pale blond hair and a goatee, and wears glasses. HE'S FAIRLY ATTRACTIVE but not, like, stunningly so, or anything. Has an Atma mark on his left hand (just looks like a really badass tattoo).
Abilities: In his human form, he fights with a shotgun. In his demon form, he transforms into Indra, an electric-type with a weakness to Earth magic. He can use various elemental/video game magics, and also punch you in the face with his . . . razor can lid fists. Or stab you with his piston arm. YEAH I DON'T KNOW.
Notes for the Psychics: GUILT COMPLEX THE SIZE OF CANADA over his best friend's death. Other than that, he's remarkably stable, with a good grasp of karma, life, the universe, and everything. This, of course, makes him a little nihilistic, but hey.
Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc?: I am totally cool with comedic things, and love to play around, so please feel free to PM and/or email to ask! ♥
Maim/Murder/Death: As long as you don't mind him or his comrades trying to eat you in return. :D
Cooking: . . . b-bachelor cooking? Also, k-kinda not applicable now.
Kissing/Hugging: Sure? IT MIGHT BE KIND OF AWKWARD but he's not going to flip out at you or anything.
On Eating You: Rather than have my own post, I'm just going with Serph and Heat's warnings/permissions. More often than not, I will ask.

Character: Roland
Series: Digital Devil Saga 2
Age: Mid-30's
Job: Inter-Species Relations

Canon: [Spoilers!] Digital Devil Saga is a heart-warming tale of cannibalistic demons on a never-ending quest to save the world from their girlfriend. Each game is set in a different world: the main party starts out in the Junkyard, a warzone of perpetual rain where warring tribes are forced to fight and devour each other in an effort to reach Nirvana. In Digital Devil Saga 2, however, it turns out that everything thus far has been a lie of Matrix proportions. Revealed to be AIs created by the Cyber Shaman, the Nirvana everyone had hoped for was nothing more than the deeply polluted real world, cursed by God. However, having managed to emerge as flesh-and-blood into the real world, the party sets about saving humanity from the Karma Society. And Sera. And God. Well, shit.

Enter Roland: the bitter, sarcastic, alcoholic leader of the Lokapala, a terrorist organization opposed to the Karma Society and their genius plan to turn "chosen" people into demons so they can live under the cursed Sun, and to hell with the rest of humanity—they're lunch! Roland is just a normal kind of guy, alcoholism and terrorism aside, described by his ward as "kind of a loser," which is actually pretty apt. However, after getting bitchsmacked around from some pissed-off AIs and having the futility of his honorless life tossed back in his face, Roland cleans up his act, sobering up and injecting himself with the demon virus. With a new lease on life after becoming a cannibal demon (. . .), Roland proves himself to be an honorable and loyal ally, fiercely devoted to protecting his comrades. A failed author, Roland is clever and well-spoken, with a dry, understated way of expressing himself that occasionally borders on self-depreciation. Roland is one of the few in the game that understands the true nature of karma—with that and his guilt complex over his best friend's death, it's no wonder he turned to drink.

Sample Post:

. . . well, I suppose this is just karma, after all.

Good afternoon to all of you. My name is Roland—apparently, I am to be your Inter-Species Relations adviser. I am taking that to mean encouraging cooperation and understanding between demons and humans, but if there are any other concerns or questions you might have regarding other species or other, er, relations . . . I suppose you might as well ask. My instructions advise that I counsel you on any concerns that "won't get you banned from 4chan," though I can't promise to be of much help. If someone could explain to me what that means, to begin with, it might get us off on a better start. Though I somehow doubt it.

Jurisdiction aside, however, I have a few notes it has been suggested we start on. Call them recommendations, if you will:

1. The cannibal demons do not always want to eat you. Sometimes they're full. By which I mean, ah, although the demons might want to eat you most of the time, just as you would probably always want to eat, say, a delicious hamburger, you would be able to control yourself from eating the hamburger if it wasn't yours to eat. The same thing goes for demons. Not . . . that I am comparing you to hamburgers. It's a metaphor.

2. Ask questions first, shoot later. Unlike zombies, although demons might look frightful, they are capable of reasoning. Except for the times when they aren't. In which case, I would advise you to shoot first, or perhaps run first, or run while shooting. You should be able to tell when a demon is capable of being reasoned with. If you cannot . . . perhaps you might want to negotiate from a distance, for your own peace of mind. And ours.

3. Be tolerant of other peoples' lifestyles. After all, for most demons, cannibalism is a necessity rather than a choice, just as being a demon isn't something they had any measure of conscious control over. That is, most of the time. There are those that made the choice willingly, but consider that they may have had reasons that transcended the uncomfortable reality of eating others. And of course there are those who do enjoy eating others, but—. . . let's just move on.

In any case, I believe that covers enough for discussion's sake. Apparently I'll be having an assistant for a demonstration of sorts, down by the lake. Does anybody know a Ms. Marcy? Her seminar is entitled, "Learning To Embrace Your Inner Demon: And Embracing Your Demon's Inner—"

. . . I'm not drunk enough for this.

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